Mania

This heaviness
Pounding in my blood like
drums of war
beating down into my
heart
Pressure building
higher
higher
sorrow squalling in my
chest
Until it's loosed I cannot
stop
It's screaming through my
blood and bones
Slamming out against my
skull
My body's shaking in
God knows what?
Won't dying be a rush?

Shadow Self

Sometimes
That black shadow of despair
That woman, black as pitch
And frightful as glaring blood
Sticking her needle fingers into my
BRAIN
Gods save me
how?
When it is myself

The Way It Is

The way of life is to drag me down
To stab me, bury me, watch me drown,
The pressure weighing heavily
Till I can hardly stand to breathe.
I'm buried so I cannot stand
With no one there to grasp my hand
And pull me from the murky depths
Of earth and blood and unquiet rest.
Buried in wraiths and shadows thick
My past and pain to my heart stick
The beating of my blood is faint
And weak, like prayers of a dead saint.
Don't call yourself a friend if you
Won't have my back when I ask you to.
Leave me be, just let me go
You've hurt me more than you will know. 


(Written Jan 3, 2012)